I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
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