their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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