i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
