I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
if i can run in heels then i can drive
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
im on a boat
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