it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
