ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
