Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
