why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
the liver wants what the liver wants
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
