he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
