i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
