So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize