We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
People in love make me want to vomit
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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