I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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