Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Randomize