I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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