there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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