my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Randomize
