my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
