he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
