Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
