Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
