Already got asked if we're dating
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
