i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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