What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
