I just threw up on my dentist
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I just found puke in my bra..
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
