Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize