I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
