'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
