If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
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