Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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