If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
