I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize