i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize