We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
