haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize