he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
