My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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