I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize