They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize