whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
