so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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