So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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