To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize