As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
