You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
