i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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