He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
either way he was missing a nipple.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
