I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
