dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I look excited, but its just a facade.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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