As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize