Having a random hookup so left but love u
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
