my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
