i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
My penis needs a shock collar
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
