Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
