Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
