pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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