That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
