i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I want her autograph on my taint
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
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