I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
